Kisah cintaku...

Di malam yang sesunyi ini

Aku sendiri
Tiada yang menemani
Akhirnya kini kusadari
Dia telah pergi
Tinggalkan diriku

Adakah semua kan terulang
Kisah cintaku yang seperti dulu

Hanya dirimu yang kucinta dan kukenang
Di dalam hatiku
Takkan pernah hilang
Bayangan dirimu untuk selamanya

Mengapa terjadi
Kepada dirimu
Aku tak percaya kau telah tiada

Haruskah ku pergi tinggalkan dunia
Agar aku dapat berjumpa denganmu...

Senja... (Part 2)

"Kita putus..."

Lancar saja ayat-ayat itu keluar dari bibir mu dan terus meninggalkan aku tanpa penjelasan. Aku hanya kaku berdiri sambil melihat gerak geri tubuh mu pergi jauh meninggalkanku dan terus hilang dari pandanganku. Adakah aku bermimpi? Kenapa ianya berlaku? Dimana silapnya aku? Aku bingung! Kau langsung tak beri aku kesempatan untuk bersuara. Apakah makna semua ini? Aku buntu. Kata-kata terakhir dari mu itu masih lagi segar di ingatanku. Kau membunuh ku! Pembunuh! Kau tahu betapa hancurnya hatiku ketika kau lafazkan kata-katamu itu? Kau jadikan aku seperti mayat hidup. Kau begitu kejam! Kau terlalu mengikut perasaan mu! Kau terlalu cemburu! Kau suka berprasangka! Aku langsung tak pernah berdusta apa lagi untuk melukai hatimu. Adakah kejujuran ku selama ini tidak bermakna bagi mu?

Dimanakah cinta yang kita agung-agungkan dahulu? Dimanakah dia janji-janji kita untuk terus bersama-sama mengharungi kehidupan ini walau apa pun yang terjadi? Dimanakah kasih sayang yang aku berikan kepadamu selama ini? Dimana? Dimana?! Kau hancurkan segala kebahagian yang pernah kita bina.

Ombak-ombak yang menghepas ke batu-batu itu seperti tahu betapa hancurnya hatiku ketika itu. Biarlah... aku akur dengan takdir. Aku pasrah dengan semua ini. Biarlah aku sendirian...

Senja...

Jam menunjukkan pukul 5.30 petang. Telah tiba waktunya untuk aku pergi pulang ke rumah. Aku menghidupkan enjin kereta dan mencari rangkaian pelangi untuk hiburan sementara menunggu suhu enjin keretaku naik. Setelah menunggu lebih kurang 10 minit, suhu kereta ku mula naik dan aku terus keluar dari tempat letak kereta itu. Aku terus keluar menuju ke jalan utama dan setiap hari juga pada waktu begini kesesakkan lalu lintas sudah menjadi kebiasaan bagi ku. Adalah lebih baik jika kita bersabar dan sopan santun ketika berada di situasi ini untuk mengelakkan sesuatu yang kita semua tidak ingini. Berilah kerjasama pada pemandu-pemandu yang juga mengunakan jalan tersebut. Aku hanya mendengar radio dan sekali sekala mataku akan melirik ke kiri dan kanan untuk melihat keadaan di sekelilingku.

Lagu-lagu yang dimainkan di radio itu membuat kan aku merasa sedih dan sayu. Mungkin aku mengenangkan kisah laluku. Aku tak tahu kenapa ianya tiba-tiba muncul di dalam fikiranku waktu itu. Aku merasa sungguh sedih. Fikiran ku mula terganggu. Adakah aku masih lagi tidak dapat melupakkannya? Atau mungkin aku masih lagi suka padanya? Mustahil! Kerna dia telah lama berkubur. Segala peristiwa dan kenangan indah itu telah lenyap sama sekali. Aku tak mahu ungkit kisah itu. Sungguh perit ku rasakan. Hatiku seperti di tikam bertubi-tubi sehingga jantungku yang sememangnya lemah ini sama sekali tidak aku dapat rasakan denyutannya lagi. Denyutan ku semakin lemah. Mataku kian kabur. Aku tidak dapat melihat dengan jelas keadaan sekelilingku. PEEEP!! Aku terkejut dari lamunan ku itu. Kereta yang berada di belakangku beberapa kali membunyikan honnya. Aku mula menyedari bahawa kereta di depanku sudah bergerak jauh dari keretaku. Aku terus menekan laju dan kereta ku meluncur laju di highway tersebut.

Aku berhasrat untuk berhenti ke suatu tempat untuk melepaskan kesesakkan di dadaku itu. Aku tak tahu hendak ke mana. Aku hanya terus memandu sehingga tanpa aku sedari bahawa aku telah berhenti di Pantai Jerudong. Aku terus keluar dari kereta dan naik ke batu-batu besar yang ada di sekitar tersebut. Aku mencari tempat yang rata dan sesuai untuk ku duduk untuk menghayati keindahan pantai pada waktu itu. Aku merasa sungguh damai. Sedikit demi sedikit fikiran ku mula melupakan peristiwa lama itu. Biarlah ianya akan hilang bersama angin yang bertiup lembut pada petang itu. Matahari bergerak perlahan dan akan terbenam sekejap lagi. Aku melihat matahari itu dengan penuh pesona. Aku mula membayangkan diriku menjadi matahari itu. Pasti sepi dan sunyi. Atau mungkin aku memang sepi dan sunyi pada saat ini? Memang. Memang aku sepi. Memang aku sunyi. Hanya matahari itu sahaja yang menemani ku. Sekejap lagi dia akan terbenam di lautan itu. Biarlah dia terbenam bersama dengan kisah silam ku itu.

Keadaan di sekelilingku mulai gelap tanpa ku sedari. Aku tak mahu berganjak dari tempat ku itu. Aku seperti tidak mahu pulang. Biarlah aku sendiri.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

I got this from DWP's blog.... My name means....

You Are Gracious and Amicable

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?


P/S: Steadyyyy... It really describes me very well... =)

Wohoho... randomness... =)

Hello world…. I miss youuuu…

Last night I went to ICC for the ‘Anugerah RTB’ which held for 4 days until tomorrow. Anyhow, I just wanted to see the dance competition but didn’t manage to see it coz we were buzy ‘cuci mata’ and walk around the area. Then we went to the hall… I met nora there… she told me that the dance just ended. Sigh. Then we went to other hall to see the BICT exhibition. I saw norhayati (sp?). Do you guys know her by any chance? I am inspired by this woman. She has many achievements which other women or perhaps men in Brunei can’t beat her. She is the first Bruneian woman to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Her recent trips around Africa, Europe and Asia by car were truly remarkable. I really respect you! =) I actually wanted to take a picture with her but I can’t reach her coz they were so many people asking and interviewing her about her experienced. At least I saw her. =) I also met kel and rai there… We just had a little chit chat.

Then we went to the mall. I hate poklen. I hate emo. I hate punk. =) BUT not all lah… coz some actually have a nice attitude. They just want to express themselves. Show-off? Attention seeker? Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve been there and done that. It is natural for teenagers to ‘show-off’ or be ‘attention seeker’ coz they like to try new things and explore. To look good or worst? I saw this guy with his ‘trojan’ hair (O_o). Oh my…. I don’t know what happened to all this kids nowadays. Back then…. When I was in form 3, I used to have ‘spiky’ hair. Right after the PMB exam ended, I came to school with my extraordinary ‘spiky’ hair and wore t-shirt and jean. All the students stopped and stared at my hair. I was actually proud of it. I walked around the school and didn’t feel guilty of breaking rules. =P Suddenly…. Someone shouted at my back. “Oi! Kn kemana ko tu?” Then I looked at him. He was my deputy principle. Then he yelled at me. “Urg luar kh? Agath balik!!” =| AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Watever~~ I was naughty back then. =P You see… being a teenager is to make some mistakes. From there, you learn and gain experienced. Become wise, mature and be a better person. =)

Okay…. my work so far so good. The co-workers are also very friendly. There’s only 1 thing I don’t like. I always come home at night. =| No more sunlight by the time I reach the parking area. It is because of the traffic jams lahhhhhhhhhhhh….. I hate jams!! There is this one lady who always comes home so lately. She complaining that she always misses the sun. Now she comes home right after the working hour. She might miss the home so much and for her kids. I’ve read this article on today’s newspaper about parents who are neglecting their kids because they are so busy with works and don’t have the time to spend with the kids. How terrible it could be? IT IS REALLY TERRIBLE! The kids need attention. They need love from the parents. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THEY LACK OF ATTENTION AND LOVE FROM THEIR PARENTS? They become bitter. They become wild. They lack confident and becomes one of the poklen. =| Ooopz… sorry if I crossed some lines there. =)

Anyhow… happy valentine. Don’t need to celebrate it though coz everyday is a lovely day for the couple. Have a nice weekend y’all! =)

Monday...

Happy Monday y'all!

Okay… let’s talk about what I’ve been through last week. I was fully occupied last Saturday. I worked from 8.30am – 12.30pm. Somehow, that morning I got stomach-ache and headache. My head felt really dizzy that time and I acted normally in front of the boss. Then I asked Dina if she have panadol or something to relieve the headache. Thank god she had activefast (sp?). After eating 2 pills, my body feeling much better. If I’m not feeling too well that day I would cancel to meet the penguins and the bogus family. But yeah… I meet the penguin eventually at our favourite restaurant which offers the best buttermilk chicken so far. As for me, Twin Dragon Restaurant is still no. 1. AHAHAHA. Anyhow, the place is just re-opened again after the renovation. The interior has change so much. I like it. We had so many conversations that time coz we haven’t seen each other for quite some time. I missed you guys. Oh btw, congratz to Nisah and Nana! =) Sorry I didn’t join you guys at ITB coz I had to sent the car to a workshop. That night, Acai lanja the bogus family and closer friends makan soto at Chin’s house. Thank you cai!! Lain kali lagee~~~ AHAHAHA

Today, I got nothing to do. The traffic is moving so slow as always. I HATE MONDAY!

P/S: Sorry... the story isn't finish yet... I have to end it now... coz i got so many people text-ing on my msn. Sigh. Later~~

Chuup!

I miss my blog much! BANARRRRRRRRR~~~ MCM ANI KU MISS~~~~~ (O_o) AHAHAHAHA. Sorry to all readers coz there is no update recently. I was so buzy coz i just started working last monday. The environment is good and the people are friendly. So far so good. Ok.. let's skip that part.. skip skip skip...

The bestiee is going back to Ozzy today. We will miss you! *mcm banar =P tpi BANARRR aha apakn* Good luck man! Don't dare to come here again! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We had so much fun though while he was here. Geez... 2 months had passed already. Didn't realise that the time is moving really fast. Sigh. Good luck chef! =)

Rain rain rain... please go away~~~ can? huhuhu. Most of tutong areas are inundated. The worst affected areas are penapar, layong, ukong, rambai, panchong and nearby villages. We were going for an adventure last night to see how high the flood is. I could tell it is more that 2 feet high. Even the fortuner that we riding didn't manage to go even further. We actually stucked in the middle of it! HOHOHO We only managed to go about 200meters coz we didn't see the road *duh! obviously.. coz it was during the night* Do you know how we escaped the flood? We reversed the car (O_o). *mana calieee tuu* AHAHAHAHA cari penyakit oh =P then, we continued to discover around panchong areas. The road is closed by police and it is not as high as layong area but we didn't want to continue the journey coz it was late already. =) kes buang panat bh dmlm atu AHAHAHAHA

anyhow... aku rindu kamu.. can? bah eh... adios~~ =P